the dreamer has moved on
and it's my turn to shine
even the best of things
must eventually die
but i'm not lost forever
and it's not just for today
and there's always a light
there is always a way
http://www.jaded-perfection.blogspot.com
Your dark side is centered around Pain. You feel
you want to scream and cry, want to leave this
place and run away from everything but you
can't, you are trapped inside your head and
there is no way out. All you want is a
beautiful unique mind just like you, can listen
and understand so you can full your world with
happiness and peace. You will find what you
want when you simplify your life and stop
looking to the dark side.
What is the center of your dark core? (updated)
brought to you by Quizilla
You're a True Warrior. You're often artistic
because you need some way to get rid of the
pains of your past. When someone pisses you
off, you tend to take out some of your
frustration on the foe. Just be careful you
don't go too far with that anger.
What Kind Of Warrior Are You? (Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla
what happened to my shoutouts? they didnt appear...sheesh.
I'm bored. I'm at Alex and Julia [my cuzzies]'s house now, and I'm being majorly bored out. Nothing to do...maybe surf for pics, but even that isnt much fun. *sighs* Somebody help me...no-one's talking to me on msn, and mom's coming and we're going to keppel club and arrrghhh. I'm just bored. Sheesh.
Well. my lame bro is pestering me now. Why can't everyone just leave me alone?! And I feel really guilty, cos today I ate a handful of coco pops, a waffle, a can of wintermelon tea, a pear and two mandarin oranges. And that's an awful lot.
Anyways. I don't even feel like tagging on A-U. Revon and Aerlinn and Aemor and Tuil are there...and it's all pretty drama there, and I think I'm gonna feel pretty left out if I start talking. So yeah. I shall lurk in the shadows and watch...as always.
Elemm's leaving for holidays tomorrow morning. Sheesh.
oh ack mom's here...gtg!
heyy. I HATE ARTIFICIAL JUICE! Gosh. Today at school we had this crappy juice-drinking competition. Oh...clarification: It wasn't even juice. It was just overly sweet, flavoured, artificial water and it was GROSS. I nearly spat it all out at my first swallow. And I'm not one to exaggerate.
Somehow, I managed to drink my way through 7 of those damned things. I don't know how I did it without sicking all over everyone or passing out on the canteen table. Yes. It was that bad. After that, I just felt totally nauseous and even more so when I thought about all that unneccessary SICKLY SWEET stuff sloshing around inside of me. And before that, we had been given a talk about EATING AND DRINKING HEALTHILY. I mean, like, go figure. Sheesh.
Anyway. So I accompanied Avveh to the bathroom, and the both of us forced ourselves to throw out. And no, we are NOT bulimic. Just in case anyone was wondering^^ And I did feel better after that, anyhow. Maxy did too. *grins* And somehow, I think that Avveh takes a certain pride in how much she managed to throw out.
0__0 Oh deah. We do sound like we're some freaks with disorders. But we're not. Really. *glances out of window* Gosh. Lightning.
*twitches* I haven't eaten in almost 12 hours...since recess, that is. I need food...there's fried rice downstairs and it's oh-so-tempting but I'm not skinny enough as it is. And there's class party tomorrow! So much chips and fatty stuff...gosh. I don't think I'll be able to resist.
Well. gtg now. There's lightning and thunder outside as it is, and I need to get the CAP portfolio done. I'm hungry!! Ahh heck. I'm going to grab a bite of fried rice now. Namarie!
heyy. I HATE ARTIFICIAL JUICE! Gosh. Today at school we had this crappy juice-drinking competition. Oh...clarification: It wasn't even juice. It was just overly sweet, flavoured, artificial water and it was GROSS. I nearly spat it all out at my first swallow. And I'm not one to exaggerate.
Somehow, I managed to drink my way through 7 of those damned things. I don't know how I did it without sicking all over everyone or passing out on the canteen table. Yes. It was that bad. After that, I just felt totally nauseous and even more so when I thought about all that unneccessary SICKLY SWEET stuff sloshing around inside of me. And before that, we had been given a talk about EATING AND DRINKING HEALTHILY. I mean, like, go figure. Sheesh.
Anyway. So I accompanied Avveh to the bathroom, and the both of us forced ourselves to throw out. And no, we are NOT bulimic. Just in case anyone was wondering^^ And I did feel better after that, anyhow. Maxy did too. *grins* And somehow, I think that Avveh takes a certain pride in how much she managed to throw out.
0__0 Oh deah. We do sound like we're some freaks with disorders. But we're not. Really. *glances out of window* Gosh. Lightning.
*twitches* I haven't eaten in almost 12 hours...since recess, that is. I need food...there's fried rice downstairs and it's oh-so-tempting but I'm not skinny enough as it is. And there's class party tomorrow! So much chips and fatty stuff...gosh. I don't think I'll be able to resist.
Well. gtg now. There's lightning and thunder outside as it is, and I need to get the CAP portfolio done. I'm hungry!! Ahh heck. I'm going to grab a bite of fried rice now. Namarie!
hmm. i just read shuu's blog, and was inspired to write a long rambly post. So I shall, but I may not be able to finish it cos it's 11.14, which is still pretty early, but yeah. *hears phone beeping* *goes to check* Oh it's Avveh...she sent me her charrie bio thingy. I feel like quoting it down here since I really am rambling anyway-- but I shan't since I do want to get home from school tomorrow in one piece, y'know.
Anyway. I just came off a-u chat. Twas kinda fun...I got a new sis! ^^ Nancy-- and she's very nice. And Seld and Brandin and Light and I talked about escaping from reality through role-playing. It was a random topic, and I can't remember how exactly it came up, but we all expressed our views over it. Brandin was complaining bout how most people's rp charries always end up depressed and lost[*coughcough*], and how he has to act happy all the time. And I replied that it wasn't any point just putting on a mask of happiness if we aren't happy at all. Cos eventually, that mask will crack and the entire facade will just slip away. And we'll only end up feeling worse. Seems that almost everyone goes to a-u to escape from reality. It was a strange feeling when I thought about it that way; and it made us all sound like a bunch of depressive suicidal escapists. Which we aren't, really. We're only looking for something better.
Speaking of which-- there was this song in Christmas service today [yes, two months early] that really struck me. It was entitled 'love song', and it's just really really awesome. I felt like crying, but I wouldn't have because everyone would have stared at me like I'm some kind of freak. I mean, c'mon. Crying in a christmas service. Wow. And the song 'we were the reason' touched me too...'specially the line about 'on a dark and cloudy night-- a man hung crying in the rain'. Just imagine. Jesus. Crying. I just...can't describe it.
And the Singapore youth for christ came as well. And I think I shall sign up for the carolling camp that they're organising. I'm torn, though. Should I go and sing at the country clubs, or the old folk's homes? I want to sing at the clubs-- cos it'll be exciting and bound to be a blast. And at the same time-- I have this feeling that I should be singing at the homes instead. *sighs* I really don't know. I'll work something out- maybe I could organise a carolling session at the homes with my youth service peeps instead.
Back to the topic. You know...today I finally realised that suicide means that you go to hell. No matter how holy or good you were in your life...it's a one way ticket to hell, as soon as you commit suicide. Which is really, really scary if you think about it. I mean...last time we had this convo about which unnatural way would be the best way to die. Definitely not drowning. Trust me; I almost drowned twice, and it's NOT a nice experience. I still think carbon monoxide poisoning is the best. You just feel drowsy, and then...*zip*...that's it. You're gone.
Sometimes it's really hard to live on...but I'd be a coward if I turned away and tried to kill myself. I guess everyone flirts with death, at some point or other in their lives. But the thing is..we gotta move on.
Next topic. Some times I feel weird. Like, I'm the only one I know who has an obsession with rp friends and the like...who reads Forgotten Realms...who had imaginary friends and stuff like that. Am I weird, or am I weird? *adds hastily* Don't answer that question. It was a rhetorical question-- and besides, I don't think I want to hear the answer. But I can't help it. Will I ever grow up? And I guess I'm growing, but I still love getting lost in my own world. Call it starry-eyed dreaming, or escapism, or anything you want. Whatever it is-- I hope I won't grow out of it soon. Yes, I may be viewed as a freak because of it-- but without imagination-- what will we all amount to? I have no desire to become a subdued, strict and unimaginative person in the future. what a nightmare...to become the one thing I hate the most. And fantasy does help me to escape sometimes. It's a wonderful way of easing the pain, when reality strikes you down.
*yawns* I should sleep now. Not a very rambly and long post...but it'll hafta do. 'Night!
"LIE to me," she whispered.
"I love you," he said.
i can't wait until all this is over
until i can breathe again
all of you just keep holding me under
and we end up at the place where we began
and no-one really cares
as long as we SMILE
Heya again.
*grins* Don't believe a single word that Nic says! She's weird. I think the heat must have touched her mind. I mean-- I don't like Smeagol!!! [on a-u] I mean-- c'mon. Give me some credit, yeah? My taste isn't that bad. And at least I'm not like Nic...she had some weird guy called Eruestan go up to her on tag yonks ago and kiss her hand and call her 'my fair lady' and all that. *shudders*
Yesterday I had fun...was doing CAP portfolio and duelling on a-u at the same time. Since my comp kept screwing up tag and giving me the whitescreen, I had to go on chat to finish up my duel with Kindan. We had a great duel, and I've saved the convo somewhere...*smirks*...but it'll be over my dead body when I show it to you all. Which, loosely translated, means never. *laughs* Yes...but in the end we called it a draw. And we just spent the rest of the time talking about our histories and stuff like that. Which was a refreshing change from duelling, truth be told. Hmm. And we always speak in rather formal tones. I shall show you just a sample of our convo...
Kindan> In Gondor...Dol Amroth especially,pure blood, and noble blood at that, is prestigious.
Kindan> However, impure blood, such as my mother's and mine... is scorned.
Tanaquil> Discrimination. *her voice hardens slightly* The bane of humanity itself.
Kindan> *nods*
Tanaquil> *looks up at him, the cold aloofness melting from her gaze momentarily* Your story is a tragic one...and yet you must remember that there are still those who see not your appearance...but your heart and all that lies within.
Kindan> *smiles slightly* I know...I've met a few already.
Tanaquil> *laughs quietly* And I am one of them, I hope.
Kindan> Most certainly. *grins at her*
** Yes, and so that is the sort of language that we use. I don't mind it, really...it sort of grows on you after a while. Although it sounds really strange when I put it that way.
*glances at comp clock and sighs* Well. I really should be going now. Now to drag Nienna aka Nicole Chan off the computer and off blogger.com, and to get back home.
*waves* Namarie!
Current Update: At Maxine's house; on the comp now with Ting and Jae lounging on Maxy's bed reading my messages and poking into my personal life.
Gahhh. ISO....*twitches*...I can't find a suitable layout. It sucks-- bigtime. Oh...and I'm tempted to tell ya all my ISO thesis statement for next year. But I shall not. And you shall hafta wait till next year to find out.
Guess what? I got people who're gonna join me in my quest on Hidden Realms. So cool. I can't wait. They're Vex, Dornvald Kyrialstine and Mikkel. *laughs*
Well. I'll blog back later. I'm bored out of my wits. And still a little cranky. *random* I love Final Fantasy!
Cya....
arrrghhh. I'm in a totally crap-a-lot mood right now. I'm going into explode mode, so I'm sorry but please don't get on my last nerve or I might snap and hurt you or something.
It doesn't even feel like friday. what has the world come to-- when friday doesn't feel like friday??
I think I shall make both of my rp charries break up. With Griffin and Vash. It's like-- *sighs*-- I don't know how to say this. But anyways. Next subject.
[ad: visit www.hiddenrealms.net!!] I love Hidden Realms. Although the rping there is pretty slow...it does rock. And I love Forgotten Realms books. [hint hint...my birthday's in January. *laughs* Subtlety is so yesterday.] Yes, and I'm begging my mum to let me get a few other Forgotten Realms books. And I can't wait till I finally get my contact lenses again.
ISO...you're ruining my life.
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